Anatomy of an Apology

Below is an excerpt of Fareed Zakaria's apology after he copied something or the other from a woman who writes for the New Yorker:

"They are right. I made a terrible mistake. It is a serious lapse and one that is entirely my fault. I apologize unreservedly to her, to my editors at Time, and to my readers."

It's beautiful.
And here's how you cloak the shirking of responsibilities in the form of an apology

"But I told the grand jury today and I say to you now that at no time did I ask anyone to lie, to hide or destroy evidence or to take any other unlawful action.I know that my public comments and my silence about this matter gave a false impression. I misled people, including even my wife. I deeply regret that."

Excuses have no place in an atonement. 

As with anything else, apologies should also have structure.

1) The wrong you did - I'd like to hear it from you even if I already know what you did

2) The right that was - So we don't have different interpretations of your folly

3) Say sorry - It's not all objective. Feel bad for what you did. Hit me with your best shit-eating face. Don't grin.

4) Set an agenda for follow-up - So you fucked up. What's next? How do we make sure it doesn't happen again?

For example: "I dyed your white shirt blue. I shouldn't have mixed it with the colors. Sorry, I fucked up. I will make sure I separate the whites next time onwards"

Management lessons

....from Jesus!

Driving around barns and open fields next to Lake Michigan, it's only natural to tune into that radio show where they discuss bible verses.

John 21:15-17 went so (in colloquial English) -

Jesus: Simon, do you love me?
Simon: I feel deep friendship for you
Jesus: Simon, do you love me?
Simon (somewhat annoyed): I feel deep friendship for you
Jesus: Simon, do you feel deep friendship for me?
Simon (relieved): yes

Knowledge gained: If your team resists an idea(cue: cross platform tablet app), back the fuck out. Let the thought stew and the response develop.

Nixon Nose

When Tricky Dick met his future wife Patricia, he knew he wanted to be with her. She didn't. So he waited until she made her mind up. He even drove her to dates with other men because that way he'd get what he desired...time with Pat. It may even have been a ploy to market himself by making sure she had him on her mind when she's with another man. Whatever the reason, it's inspiring.

Inspiring because it teaches you a few things:

• Don't be reactionary - Let Pat worry about what Pat wants. 
• Set your bullshit aside and be patient - It can't be too good for your ego to see the girl you desire walk away with another man, but you can live with it for now.
• The outcome is both all-important and pointless at the same time - Do what you have to do. Tricky would have found someone else to be with, had Pat not agreed to be his wife eventually.

That's all. 

Now here Tricky gets a shoeshine because he wants one:

The image is taken from the blog http://tsutpen.blogspot.com/ which comes highly recommended...by me.

E-mail Succinctness

or more specifically, 'work' e-mail succinctness.
Don't:
Hi John,

I'm writing to let you know some of my observations regarding the web app you deployed on Wednesday. I noticed that the ruler on the left hand side is a bit farther than I thought it should be. It's not a big deal for now, but it's something I'd like to keep in the pipeline of things to fix. There's also the content itself. Did you receive the lates XML feed of content that Patricia said she would create? I'm wondering about this because I'm not seeing the latest content on the web page. This is something that should get corrected ASAP. I would also like you to come up with a plan to leverage the time we have left to best transfer the knowledge of the code you've written to Tim and Jim.

Cheers,
Billy Bob

I'll let the erudite Mr. Carlin express my thoughts:

Now here's what you DO:

John,

Please address the following prioritized items:

• The latest content is not being displayed on the site. Please work with Patricia to diagnose and solve the problem.
• Come up with a Knowledge Transfer plan that includes Jim & Tim.
• The left ruler line is too far off. Please fix it.

-Billy Bob

So, how is the second e-mail better?

• No salutation. Lose the "hi", "hey", "dear" (*shudder*) etc. It's unnecessary.
• It creates a list of tasks.
• It prioritizes the list of tasks.
• It's tight with no fluff.
• It does not include shit like "ASAP". If you need to use these acronyms, then you don't trust your employees to do the work they are assigned. You should really be reconsidering your hiring strategy instead of writing long winded e-mails.